Discover the Secrets of the Shadow Self, Your Key to Transformation.

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A quick guide to help you venture into the illusive shadow self.

Want to hear something really spooky? Let’s talk about self-love and about how I finally overcame the self-love hurdle. I’m telling you, attaining self-love is some spooky business. How did I do it? Well, let me give you a hint- it wasn’t with positive affirmations. Well, not entirely.

Positive affirmations are great. I love them. I use them all of the time, in any number of ways, but they will only get us so far if we haven’t done the deep inner-work required to quiet the sometimes ugly voice of the ego.

Witch Curious Doorway to Transformation Shadow Work Shadow Self

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. I was just going about my day and it occurred to me my inner a**hole was suddenly a flowery sweet princess. I was so surprised I stopped and was like, “Oh! You’re being so nice in there!”

This was so monumental. I spent most of my life with the mind-roommate who seemed consumed with negativity. She was mad, and what we know about mean people pertains to our own inner meanness; those who act in negative and ugly ways often need the most love. The last couple of years of intense work quieted her, the inner mean-girl, mostly neutralizing her. She became inquisitive instead of harsh. When I would wake with pain in my hip and naturally whine to myself, one morning, I woke and the whining was replaced by a calm and discerning voice. Instead of whining, she said, “What does it mean?”

“What does it mean?”

Wait. What? What did it mean? I didn’t know.

I took the inner prompting into my meditation to explore what it might mean. The inner jerk though, she was still there. I became more cognizant of her and would shoosh her, outright. Then yesterday, I noticed her evolution as I was getting ready in the bathroom mirror, my mind-talk was…sweet. So sweet, it took my breath away a little as I realized how much I like myself, and how deeply I appreciate myself. LOVE. Love myself. Sure, if anyone had asked me 5 years ago if I loved myself, I would say yes, and I would mean it, but inside my inner-voice was…well, she was mean a lot of the time.

All of those positive affirmations have done me good, but I know deeply I couldn’t have gotten to this place without the time I’ve spent these last few years in darkness. You see, and if you’re a lightworker, you know, you cannot be the light if you have not used your own light to illuminate the pitch black path of your darkest self.

Our most valuable tool is truly courage.

If you’re ready to move past the affirmations and go a bit deeper, here are some tools for you to explore, some more obvious than others.

Therapy. If you have trauma from this life that you have been avoiding, and you feel ready to adventure into it, seek a therapist.

Meet your Shadow Self. You can journal this, but really this is as simple (and as complicated) as being aware of your own shadow self. Meet your shadow self and be kind to it. The shadow is an important guide in your journey. Some questions to help with awareness:

What am I avoiding right now and why? Messy house, relationship issue, a person, an argument, weight, sex?
What prompts anxiety in me?
Where am I projecting my own emotions and behavior onto someone else?
Everything in our lives is a mirror; what does yours say about you?
What is my responsibility in the situations I find myself in (create for myself)

Meditate. I learned to meditate when I was a teen to manage anxiety. This was before the internet, so I literally learned how from books I got at the library. When I began meditating daily, five or so years ago, it changed my entire life. Ask for Guidance. Ask for guidance from whatever your current spiritual beliefs are. This can be very general, and doesn’t require a name. Your higher self, the Universe, Source, God, angels, spirit guides, loved ones who have passed, whatever feels good to you, sit in quiet and ask them to help guide you to your best life.

Ask for Guidance. Ask for guidance from whatever your current spiritual beliefs are. This can be very general, and doesn’t require a name. Your higher self, the Universe, Source, God, angels, spirit guides, loved ones who have passed, whatever feels good to you, sit in quiet and ask them to help guide you to your best life.

Be Open-Minded. Transformation is confusing, and requires that we get comfortable being uncomfortable. We may think we know what we need to heal and then find there is something else entirely that has created obstacles in our lives. Be open to understanding, and take time with it. Only the ego needs to hurry.

Allow Transformation. Often when transformation begins it is scary. Once we begin to do the work, things change, and change can be daunting. Commit and recommit to yourself that you will stay the path. If things get too hard, take a break or find assistance. Seek teachers, read books, and talk with a close friend or a therapist. If you begin to experience odd happenings, a transpersonal therapist can be a big help, offering a larger scope of practice that includes spirituality.

The Shadow Self is illusive, deceptive, misleading, and an excellent revealer of that which needs to be healed. Not an enemy, but an important helper in the process of becoming our best selves. There is an awakening inviting you. Allow your shadow to take you to the uncomfortable spaces of transformation.

Ease into fear. Take baby steps if you must. The amount of fear that arises when we work with the shadow self, and with transformative energies in meditation and ritual, is equal to the amount of work we have to do. Move through the process, there is great power on the other side of transformation.