How to recognize what you truly want to heal and change about your life to create beautiful transformation, and light up your life.
When I walked away from a growing corporate career I wasn’t actively trying to glow-up. I was happy with my life. I had opened some important career doors, and was walking toward bigger and better things professionally. My options were open not only career wise, but I was dating and felt an enormous opportunity to meet the love of my life. I was looking forward to creating what was what I considered the second, and best half of my life.
And then, everything changed.
When I say everything, I mean absolutely every aspect of my life changed. I didn’t set out to explode my life, or to change drastically. I am not the adventurous sort who relishes change. Even so, with all of these doors wide open for me to walk through, I was distracted by tiny crumbs leading another direction. Sometimes the path we are meant to take is less obvious, and requires we trust that the Universe is truly calling to us, and we must also trust in ourselves.
A number of catastrophic events occurred in my life swiftly followed by a global pandemic. These events caused a shift in my perspective, a shift in my values; an awakening. You can read more about my spiritual awakening here: Spiritual Awakening.
Listen to Your Intuition
I began to realize that I wasn’t fulfilled in my life, even though at the time I felt happy and on the precipice of opportunity, my perspective of what would really light my life up shifted. This knowing wasn’t a complete idea or even a plan, it was an inkling, an intuitive sense that I wanted something different, deep down in a place that I had drowned out for too long.
What I had to do but wasn’t consciously aware of, was tap into my intuition, and settle my ego. The ego is so lovely in how well it works to protect us but it can be mighty over protective, which can really serve to hold us back. I’ve learned over time how to make the ego my friend, how to appreciate it, and work with it rather than against it. Something deep within me knew I wanted change, and I had to find my way to what that change was.
The first thing I did was leave my corporate job for one with better pay, fewer work hours, and fewer commuting hours. The only problem was the pandemic began just as I was making this exit, and my grandmother was not well and required care. A culmination of events led to my leaving the position just after I accepted the offer.
I could see things weren’t going well. I had a feeling I’d been lied to about some elements of the position, and a recurring inner dread wouldn’t leave me. I had a nagging feeling I just couldn’t shake. An anxiety that was unusual to me. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach but not in a good way. It wasn’t excitement I was feeling. I would stare out the window at my car in the parking lot and think, “RUN!”
Of course it would be completely irresponsible to just run out the door, get into my car, and drive away, right? I was a responsible sort of person, a professional, and I had kids to feed, a mortgage, I couldn’t just…leave!
Except I did. I left. I discovered some behavior that wasn’t entirely legit, potentially illegal, and perpetrated in a way that could cause me significant harm not only career wise, but in other ways. For several days I fought with my ego about the “right” thing to do, the “responsible” thing to do. One Monday morning, I walked into the office with a big fat resignation letter. I had no idea what I was going to do; I was far from independently wealthy, but something inside me knew that I was in a bad situation and I needed to leave, and quickly.
I am not saying you should run out and quit your job, not at all. Please don’t do that. What I am saying, is I knew something wasn’t right, and all of the events together revealed to me that this was an important risk for me to take. I knew, intuitively, that everything would be ok. What I am saying is if we want to live our fullest, most beautiful, juiciest lives we have to follow our intuition, and we have to take risks.
HOW do we follow our intuition? Here’s a quick rundown on Deciphering INTUITION and HOW TO LISTEN TO AND FOLLOW INTUITION.
Related: How to Listen to Your Intuition Decipher Signs of Intuition
Make Yourself a Priority
One of the greatest hang-ups in my own life was that I often made everyone else a priority over myself. When I say everyone, I’m not being hyperbolic. You name it, they came first. My children, of course. But also, my job; a coworker would often text at 5AM because he knew I was awake. I was awake, but I wasn’t at work. I ran myself right into burnout being the best employee, but the truth of the matter is, only in very rare instances does your corporate job actually care about you. They really care that you are there to do the work, and if you aren’t they will fill that chair really quickly once you’re gone.
Now add in family responsibilities, pets, community responsibilities, trying to have a personal life, and societal pressures. Being a single parent in the capitalist socioeconomic landscape of America is exhausting and often invites us to put ourselves dead last.
To get clear on the kind of life our intuition is guiding us to pursue requires we interpret our intuition with a sense of clarity of what we want in life. What YOU want. And that can be difficult to decipher if everyone has a piece of you and you’ve left none for yourself.
Ask Yourself…
How do I want to FEEL?
What do I want to DO?
I’m not just talking about work or a job here. What do I want to DO with myself, for myself? Is there a hobby or talent you have buried in your life-living? Are you burnt out and don’t make time for yourself? Is there something you are passionate about that has fallen away from you? What do you want to do?
How do I perceive myself, and what about that do I want to change?
What am I truly interested in?
And I’m not talking about the books on your coffee table, what books are you reading that you keep on your nightstand (or if you’re anything like me, next to you in bed!)? What Pinterest boards do you have locked that contain private things you are deeply curious about? What secret thing do you keep locked away that you know lights you up, but maybe you’re not so keen to talk about?
Fun fact! Mine was always spirituality but I never told anyone other than my sister until I unleashed it onto the world. And now, I don’t care who knows, I’m happy to share what was once a hidden passion with anyone and everyone that wants to listen.
What does my perfect day or daily schedule look like?
Who am I giving my power away to? When you think of who holds you back, who comes to mind? Often people who love us and are absolutely well intentioned hold us back because when we change they know they may have to change too. Change is scary. Who benefits from your living at status quo? Who would be up in arms if you came to the party and announced a change you have been wanting to make for a long time? Reconcile with yourself that you are more important than the person or the people you allow to hold you back. How often do we stagnate because we are worried about what 5 or 10 people in the entire world might think of us?
Get curious about yourself. You will fall in love with what you find.
Stop Trying to Climb The Mountain
The path of intuition may seem to be taking you to the top of a mountain that seems an enormous climb, but it’s most likely that what you consciously think the outcome or end result is, isn’t actually the intended destination. Intuition rarely taps us on the shoulder and gives us the exact destination. The journey, the here and now, is always the immediate purpose. Staring up at the top of the mountain from the bottom is self-torture, and it hinders the journey.
Instead, realize that the journey to the top is about taking it one day at a time, no matter the perceived destination. I guarantee you, whatever you think the best possible outcome is, is likely grander than you can even imagine for yourself. Take it in small victories. Your goal is to make it to the first campsite on the mountain, not the top of the mountain. Start small.
Give Yourself Time to Heal
We rush through life. Just yesterday, in a half hour drive to the store, I witnessed someone driving so fast in a huge truck, that they totally blew through a stop sign and nearly smashed into me and another car as we were legally crossing the intersection. Just following that, another car cut me off jumping lanes unexpectedly, and then a bus nearly ran down a pedestrian that was actively IN the crosswalk. People are always in a hurry, life is moving so fast for all of us. If you aren’t the person on your phone while driving then you are cussing out the person who is on their phone while they’re driving, right?
We live our lives in perpetually hurry. Or, we get stuck in the mud. Fight, flight, or deer in the headlights; do you fall into one of these categories?
Whether the pressures of daily life have you rushing around silencing your intuition or have you frozen like a deer in headlights unable to move forward; take it obstacle by obstacle, and give yourself the time to do so. To find our truest deepest calling, to light up our lives, we have to be prepared to find clarity on how we get in our own way, and to do what is needed to give ourselves time to heal.
Relax With Life
The number one way to slow down and gain clarity is through meditation. Meditation has many different forms and doesn’t have to require sitting still and being silent. Guided meditation or music can help when sitting in silence is difficult. Try a One Minute Meditation to start or Meditation Music to improve your focus.
Whether you sit in meditation, practice a walking meditation, paint or draw, sing, dance; any number of practices can accomplish the calm, presence of mind needed to bring clarity and help you tune in to your intuition.
Accept What Is
When we finally get to a place where we can see something entirely new for ourselves, it can make the liminal space in between seem like walking through quicksand, and that can make it difficult to trust in divine timing. Whenever we are making changes in our lives, when we are preparing to glow up, the Universe is working behind the scenes on our behalf. There is much that goes on for us that we cannot even fathom and sometimes the work is to accept what is and TRUST.
In moments when I’m struggling with what is or the in-between space, when I’m in the next phase waiting room, I affirm to myself, this is what is. This is what is right now. In the next moment it will be different, and the next. There is a flow with life, and when we try to control everything, we complicate the process.
Trusting our selves, clearing obstacles, finding clarity, giving ourselves time and space to heal, and trusting that we have the support of something greater than our physical selves, and that this something greater runs through us in the form of intuition, can help us flip the switch, and light up our lives in ways that defy our own imaginations.
